Living with Bi polar

I know this is not my usual happy light kind of topic, and just writing this blog is taking so much out of me, not sure if I will publish it at the end of the day, but here goes anyways,  maybe one day I will have the guts to publish it

I was diagnosed at a very young age with ADD and then in my teens with what was then known as manic depression, I had trouble making and keeping friends at school and would throw myself into my school work to make up for it. Thankfully I had the greatest mother ever, and she looked for ways to treat me without using medication, some of those were putting me into karate and horse riding to increase my concentration times. I finally found my place, horses brought me peace and allowed me to just be. It amazed me and still does how this majestic animal can be more understanding and kind than some people were. I was no longer hiding in my books, or reading to escape the thoughts that spun around endlessly in my head, when I was around a horse I was a happy normal child and I bonded so deeply that I would even fall asleep laying next to my horse. He understood me so deeply that I would ride without a bridle or saddle and he would go in the direction I asked him to.
Karate taught me much, the meditation was the most helpfull teaching me how to clear my mind and be still with myself. These skills allowed me to start getting to know myself, and be comfortable with who I am. Fast forward years and the diagnosis is now called bi polar,  which basically means that I have episodes where I am very depressed followed by mania, where I feel like I am on top of the world and that there are no consequences for my actions. I was taught how to recognise the signs of an impending depressive episode before it hit and that allows me to take action before it takes hold of me. Though there are times when no matter what I do it takes me and I just have ro hold on until it passes.
I am blessed to have a husband who is very understanding and who has taken the time and effort to study my mood fluctuations and now he is able to tell when I am in a good place or not. And the support he is gives me a safe place, a quiet place. Which I believe is the most important thing for someone suffering with Bi polar.
Now a days I only have an episode every few years  and it's not as bad as it used to be when I was younger, 
I accept that I will never be what society poses as normal, but normal is over rated
With the right diet, exercise, doing things that make me happy,  and taking the time every single day to make the decision to be happy,  spending quality time with my daughters, and my husband. My experiance has taught me that it's the little things that count,  and that keep me stable.